


Burn

by Let_the_Queen_Roar



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Mission: Impossible (Movies), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Barry Allen, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Broken Promises, Cheating, F/M, Female Barry Allen, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, No Powers (sort of), Post-Zoom, Song: Burn (Hamilton)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Let_the_Queen_Roar/pseuds/Let_the_Queen_Roar
Summary: You forfeit all rights to my heart.You forfeit the place in our bed.I hope that you burn.She thought she could trust them. Instead, they pushed her to the point of breaking. All of them. Especially those two. The two men who said they loved her. She hopes they burn.
Relationships: Barry Allen & Henry Allen & Nora Allen, Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen & Joe West, Barry Allen/Ethan Hunt, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart (past), Barry Allen/Oliver Queen (past)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I love the song Burn from Hamilton. I decided to take one of my favorite cinnamon rolls and add the angst from the song into a story.

It hurt so much. Her heart ached with betrayal. It was screaming inside her chest. What was wrong with her? Was she so detestable, so undesirable, that no one wanted her? It was always the same. A person would tell her that she was the light. A good person. Beautiful. Wanted. Then, like each time before, someone more beautiful or exciting would appear, and she would be set aside like trash.

She missed her mom and dad. They loved her for who she was. The dorky little kid that had so many questions and a thirst for knowledge. She misses her mother’s beautiful smile. It brought a sense of comfort. She misses her dad’s wide grin and his steady hands. She misses them with every heartbeat in her chest. The ache of how much she missed them reverberated throughout her body. She knew that they would offer her words of comfort, reminding the young woman that she was beautiful. A light to the world.

Except they can’t anymore.

A jealous, psychotic speedster from the future ripped Nora Allen from her family. The Man in Yellow wanted to make the future Flash suffer. Suffer she did. Eobard Thawne killed her mother, and her dad went to jail for a crime he didn’t commit. No one listened to the little girl who witnessed it all. Many called her crazy. 

After every trial, stumble, and setback, Henry Allen gained his freedom. She finally had her father back after all the years of yearning for her family. Then, once more, a speedster cruelly ripped him from her life.

Beatrice “Berry” Allen felt cursed.

Now, she wondered if she was destined to be alone.

In high school, guys would ask her out, play the part of the boyfriend, and then go after her foster sister, Iris. Always Iris. The beautiful, sassy, strong Iris. All the guys wanted her. All the girls wanted to be her. Berry was just a means to an end. She was emotionally exhausted with each encounter. Joe and Iris insisted that someday someone would see her worth. She loved her foster family, but they didn’t hear the cruel words or see the things others have done to her.

After the lightning and becoming the Flash, she thought that Oliver could be that person. The Arrow told her that she was special, a light for her city. He trained her to check her surroundings, not to be cocky, how to fight if her powers failed her. Berry thought he loved her. He even said he did. He kissed her with reverence, as though she was sent from Heaven to be with him. Oliver placed her on a pedestal to be worshipped. He acted like she meant the world to him. Thea told her that she never saw her brother so in love before, not even with Laurel. The younger Queen seemed sure.

Then, Zoom happened. The Flash fought hard. She was busy finding a way to be faster. To be stronger. Berry couldn't visit Star City as much. Hunter Zolomon could take that moment to hurt her friends and family. He eventually did.

During that time, Oliver was struggling with Darhk. Team Arrow was in turmoil, and Berry could not help. And like every chapter in her love life, Oliver left her. He wanted someone else who was there all the time. He wanted someone more reliable.

She felt the first burn.

Berry could never be mad at Felicity. How could she? Felicity was beautiful. She was smart. She could be there for Oliver all the time. She might be a nerd like Berry, but it was enduring. Berry was told her ramblings were annoying. Too much. Even Oliver tuned her out eventually. 

What was one more heartbreak? For a while, everything went on a steady course. She didn’t go looking for love. What was the point? She couldn’t date anyone without revealing her identity or putting that person in danger. Then Captain Cold stepped into her life with an icy blast.

She was wary of Leonard Snart. The thief was a villain, but she knew there was good in him. She saw it while they were trying to save his sister. She saw it with the Rogues. She saw it before he left with the Legends. Leonard Snart stole her heart like the thief he was. He didn't sugarcoat his intentions or hide who he was. Cold was the opposite of the Arrow. He kissed her with ferocity. He said she was meant for stealing because of how priceless she was. He built her palaces with his words. He wrapped her in words and phrases and brought her to a world of fantasy and beauty.

What could go wrong?

She wasn't there on the Waverider. The Legends knew that the Flash was important to the timeline. She was a fixpoint in time, and if Rip Hunter added her to the crew, a time flux would happen. So, Berry couldn't go the missions with the Legends, but Sara could. 

The White Canary was everything Berry was not. Sara was deadly, strong, beautiful, a leader. She was everything Leonard would want in a companion. Once again, she couldn’t blame the other person. She was just Berry. She was nothing without her powers. Neither man would have noticed her if she didn’t become the Flash. Felicity and Sara were exceptional before and after everything in their lives. Berry would always be… She would always be that dorky, sad, little child. Never enough. Never good enough.

The second burn.

Soon, the hits kept coming. Cisco and Caitlin left her because of Flashpoint. Iris and Joe were busy with Wally and his new powers. The villains were getting stronger and deadlier. Berry thought her new friend Kara would help distract her from all the problems going on in her small world, but Supergirl lived on another Earth. It wouldn't be fair to dump all her problems on the other woman.

What was left for her? Her parents were gone. Her foster family had a son/brother to take her spot. A real family member. Her friends abandoned her. Team Arrow and the Legends were too busy. Plus, their leaders decided to play with the Scarlet Speedster, only to leave her in the dust. What was really left? 

Nothing.


	2. Two Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two years since she left. How is everyone handling it?

Two years have passed since the Flash disappeared. No one in Central City knew what happened to their beloved hero. Many feared that the Scarlet Speedster was dead, killed by an unknown enemy. Many thought that she was taken to fight in another dimension or world. The Rogues and other villains didn’t care where she went. She was gone, but of course, a new speedster, Kid Flash, stood in their way to ruling over Central. Sometimes the new hero teamed up with the Vigilante from Star City or Supergirl from Earth-38. He was never alone, but he didn’t have the same feeling as the original Flash. The kid was fast, he could fight, and he could banter, but he lacked _her_ light. Her goodness.

“Wally, watch your left! Glider almost caught you. Don’t get cocky!” yelled the Arrow over the comms.

Wincing, Wally skidded to a halt behind a car. Oliver was right, he was almost gilded to a lamppost by Lisa’s gold gun. “Sorry. I was distracted by Trickster’s toy bombs. Cisco, do you see where she went?”

“No, looks like Peek-a-Boo grabbed her.”

Ugh, Wally knew that meant for him. Oliver would lecture him some more about paying attention to his surroundings, which usually leads to more training, which leads to bruises and sore muscles. Is this how Berry felt? Constantly being told you aren’t good enough. The young meta cringed at his own thoughts. He and his family were so caught up in getting to know one another, they neglected their relationship with Berry. From what Wally heard from the others, Berry had fallen into a depression after her father’s death and the fallout with Flashpoint. On top of that, she had dated Oliver Queen and Leonard Snart at one point or another, and they both left her for the next blonde woman in their lives. The speedster once again winced. Oliver is a great mentor, but if Berry ever returned, he knew that the West family, including him, would never let those two near her again. Iris almost tore Snart’s head off when he made an appearance at Star Labs and learned about the pain and embarrassment he put the hero through. His sister already felt guilty, but to see the thief and his “new” crew, it was too much for the woman. Snart had the gull to bring his fling with him and flaunt Sara in their face. It took him and Joe to hold her back from kicking Captain Cold's ass.

Oliver had been lucky. The one and only reason anyone on Team Flash let the older man near the speedster was because he knew how to train someone with his powers. Plus, Wally wasn’t a blonde woman. It helped that Felicity and Oliver are engaged as well. Barely. Thea and Iris weren’t happy with the older Queen either but tried to not let that ruin his relationship with Wally.

“So, Glider got away. This week has been terrible. First, Mardon robbed the museum. Trickster blew up the mayor’s car. Now, Lisa. Can we take a break?” asked Cisco. The other meta had been exhausted from monitoring the cameras and vitals for the team almost 24/7. Really, he’s been exhausted for much longer. He hasn’t slept well in more than two years. Losing his best friend and sister and not being able to find her has caused him to feel nothing but guilt. He and Caitlin knew that Berry was carrying the world on her shoulders, made worse by Henry’s death and the speed force picking her as its champion. While he and the others were angry about Flashpoint, no one wanted it to cause her to disappear. He tried to vibe for her, but his powers couldn’t find her anywhere, not even in the speed force.

The speed force itself was angry at all of them. More than angry. The entity had spoken to them, in the form of Berry, and wasn’t that painful to see, letting them know how they failed their champion.

**Flashback**

Teams Flash and Arrow, along with Kara and the Legends, were trying to find Berry. Rip said the timeline seemed to be changing and wasn’t sure what to do to stabilize it. The Flash was crucial to many events, but with her disappearance, those events were changing and causing history to rewrite itself. The Gideon refused to tell anyone where the Scarlet Speedster was, saying it was now against the AI's protocols to give out any information about Berry Allen. 

Snart and Rory left to see if they could find information about the brunette, using some of their remaining contacts in this time period. Snart also wanted to be away from all the tension that had built up with him and Queen being near the West family. The two men knew that neither one of them were welcomed in Star Labs, but they were needed to help find the speedster. They had so much guilt when it came to her. Both still loved her but ruined everything because she, like them, was needed to be the hero. They let the excuse of loneliness to break her heart, to burnout the flames she held for them. 

“Can you try vibing for her again?” asked Joe desperately. He still can’t imagine not seeing his daughter again. God, he let her down once more. How can ever face Henry and Nora in the afterlife? The young woman gave so much and was rewarded with let downs and betrayals left and right.

“I’m trying. I can’t find her or even a trace of anywhere she’s been. It’s like she completely vanished.”

“Do you think she’s on another Earth?” suggested Kara. She still keeps scanning the city with her super hearing, hoping to hear Berry’s unique heartbeat. It frustrated the superhero. She wished the brunette had come to her, however, knowing the speedster, she probably didn’t want to cause trouble for her friend.

“It could be possible, but Ramon should still have caught a trace of her,” stated Harry. “I think she took a practical route and stayed on this Earth.”

“Then why can’t he vibe her?” growled Oliver. As the three teams started to argue about the situation, no one noticed as Iris and Wally slinking away from everyone.

Iris sat numbly in a chair near the Flash suit, with Wally by her side. The younger Wests didn’t know what to do. Their sister was gone. Cisco couldn’t vibe her, and Kara tried to see if she could hear the quick, hummingbird heartbeat of the brunette, but nothing.

“I tried to run a facial recognition program, but… Um… it still hasn’t found anything yet. It doesn’t mean anything! I’m sure Berry is out there,” said Felicity. The blonde felt guilty about how Oliver left the brunette for her. She had been crushing on Oliver since the start of his journey as the Arrow and thought that she didn’t have a chance, until, one day, he asked her out for a date. At first, she refused thinking he was with Berry, but he said they had broken up, and he always admired the blonde woman. How could she say no to that? Now, the two of them are engaged, but the blonde knew deep down Oliver still loves the hero. How could he not? In her own way, she loves the other woman too. They all do.

“Red is smart. A lot smarter than most of us give her credit for,” said Mick. He and Snart had arrived back to the Cortex with little information. The speedster handed in her two-week notice to Captain Singh at CCPD, she cleaned out her apartment and room at West’s home, and she took out all her money from the bank. After that, no one could glean a clue. She was good, but that was expected from a former CSI.

“Yes, but this is beyond just getting out of Central City. I can’t even find anything that has her energy,” said Caitlin.

“What if… What if she somehow changed her energy?” suggested Ray with some hesitation. Everyone paused. Was that possible? Could someone completely change their energy?

Soon, Iris started to laugh, hysterically. Joe, alarmed, hurried to his daughter’s side.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“We always did underestimate her. She’s smart enough to figure out how to hide. Everyone here forgot that she doubled major in forensic science and chemistry. Berry was more than just the Flash.”

Leonard snorted. He already knew that Scarlet was smart. He did his research on the brunette once he knew her name. He needed to know her weaknesses so he could exploit them, but soon, he had become obsessed with the hero. How could he not? She was good. The kind of good someone like him would love to corrupt. A good that shouldn’t exist based on her history. Mom dead. Dad in jail. The cop who arrested her dad takes her in. Bullies. People calling her crazy most of her life. Bad relationships. A life like that would make others bitter. Instead, she made it her mission to prove her dad innocent, helped solve crimes, kept pushing forward with a smile and laughter.

“So, how did she do it then?” asked Diggle.

Before any of the scientists could come up with a theory, a portal of swirling blue and lightning opened into the lab. Everyone powered up, drew a weapon, or dropped into a fighting stance. After Zoom, time-traveling villains, and other mystical beings, no one was taking a chance. But, gasps were heard echoing throughout the Cortex as a figure stepped out of the swirling mass.

“Berry?” breathed Iris.

“I’m sorry to disappoint, but I am not Berry.”

“The speed force,” said Wally.

“Yes, Wally. I thought this form would be the best way to deliver a message to everyone here.”

That caused everyone to get angry. How dare it taunt them by using Berry’s appearance. How dare it cause more pain.

“And what message would that be?” snarled Oliver, his fingers tigthening around his bow. He wanted to arrow this thing, but he couldn't. It looked just like her.

“Stop looking for her.”

“What?!” shouted everyone.

Humming, the speed force Berry looked around the Cortex. Its champion was hurting. These people caused the speedster to hide, give up her powers. Its rage was well hidden, but if it had its way, it would have sent most of these people into a breach. It won’t because its champion still cared. That’s why it chose her. Wally was a good speedster, but he lacked that same drive Berry has.

“Yes. She needs time and space to heal. Don’t worry, I don’t have her. She left on her own free will.”

That cut the teams to their souls. That didn’t sound like the Berry anyone knew. That didn’t sound like the hero. She may stumble and falter, but she never gave up or give into failure.

“You’re lying. Scarlet isn’t someone to run from a problem,” Leonard said coldly. He knew his speedster. She was a true hero. Heroes don’t run, they stay and fight.

The smile the speed force had on its face disappeared after Cold’s comment. These “heroes” didn’t know. Didn’t know how deep the depression ran inside Berry. Its favored child needed to run. Run from this city. Run from the friends and family who abandoned her. Run from the pain. The speed force helped by giving the Flash time. Time to hide physically, and time to hide her energy. Berry was smart, and just like Iris said, she was severely underestimated outside the suit.

Everyone back away from the terrible pressure the speed force Berry was radiating. “No, I am not Leonard Snart. You trapped her in a prison of self-sacrifice and anger. That is more imposing than anything I can create. You kept her from reaching the pinnacle a speedster could reach. Now, my champion is discovering who she is without the pressure of anyone else deciding for her. She’ll return. In time.”

Guilt. That’s the only thing everyone felt. Guilt and sadness. Did they do that to her? Did they push the Scarlet Speedster to the point that running was her only option?

“If you don’t believe me, have Cisco vibe her parents’ graves. I’m sure you’ll be enlightened by what he sees.” With that last statement, the speed force Berry began to walk to the portal.

“Wait!” yelled Iris. The speed force turned and looked at the young reporter. “Is she at least safe?”

“Yes. She is physically safe.” The speed force soon disappeared through the portal, sucking out the air with it.

**End Flashback**

Since that day, everyone would call Team Flash once a week to see if anyone had heard from Berry. For two years, no one found any information on the speedster. Diggle and Lyla tried to use their contacts in ARGUS. When Diggle and Oliver almost made a deal with Amanda Waller, the she-devil herself, to see if she or her task force knew anything, Iris, Thea, Sara, and Felicity stopped them. No one wanted to owe Waller a favor. Instead, the older Queen turned his attention to Wally, helping the young meta train. He already failed one speedster. He didn’t want to repeat the same mistake.

A few of them weren’t sure if they wanted to find Berry. Once Cisco vibed the graves, he fell to the ground crying. The pain the speedster radiated hurt so much. How did she hold it in all this time, he would never know? All the young man knew was that they failed her. Utter failure. They left her alone while depression ate at her confidence. They abandoned the hero to Central City’s villains and criminals, expecting her to continue like the hero she was. Somehow, they made her into Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. All the teams forgot that she was still a human with human feelings and fears.

“I agree with Cisco. We need a break,” said Caitlin. The doctor decided to stay with the team after returning to help look for Berry. During her stay, the young woman learned how to work with Frost and control her powers.

“Or at least some good news,” exhaled Iris.

Humming in agreement, Team Flash was struggling for some time. Kid Flash was fast and getting better at fighting, but his connection with the speed force seemed weaker. No one can figure out what could be wrong. Harry returned to his Earth last year but said he will keep in touch. Kara could only visit once a month. She didn’t want to keep National City unprotected. The Legends were once more hunting down new villains through time with Sara as the new captain. Iris wasn’t sorry to not see that particular crew go. Snart and Lance were good to stay far from any of the Wests. Joe had almost shot Cold and Queen not too long after Berry disappeared, blaming them for breaking his daughter’s heart.

Speaking of the Vigilante.

“Wally, you have to pay more attention. You could have been killed,” Oliver said sternly as he walked into the Cortex.

“I know. I was legitimately distracted by Walker’s toy bombs. I think Glider was counting on that.”

Everyone groaned. No one would dispute that Lisa Snart was just as smart as her brother. In her own way, the youngest Snart never forgave anyone for what happened to Berry. Even after the messy issue with her brother and the brunette, both women stayed friends. She was one of the few that saw how badly the speedster was breaking, but before she could step in, Berry vanished. Team Flash was being punished for their actions and, since, Captain Cold was in the timeline, they were being punished in his place as well. This was another reason Iris hated Snart. 

As the two heroes and the team took a moment to relax, footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. Looking up, everyone was surprised to see Amanda Waller. The she-devil herself made them feel anxious. Seeing her meant that something bad or dire was about to happen.

“What do you want Waller?” asked Oliver with his bow already in his hands. He knew that she wasn’t alone. Someone, more than likely Deadshot, was nearby.

Giving Team Flash and Queen a tight smile, Waller made her way to the heart of the Star Labs. “I’m sure you would love to hear that I’m just making a quick house call, Queen. But I was summoned by the president. There is a new situation that needs the planet’s best. And that includes you lot. So, she thought it best that I personally deliver the news.”

“Since when do you work well with others,” grumbled Oliver.

“Since aliens and our own Earth villains decided it was okay to try to take over this planet and the rest of the multiverse. I would also see if you can call in your time traveling group and Supergirl. It is all hands on deck.” With her message delivered, Waller left the team to tackle the new threat.

“Ugh, this wasn’t the kind of news I meant!” yelled Iris. Pulling out her phone, she called her dad at the precinct to let him know the latest news.


End file.
